Happy Fasting!!!!

Well..now, we’re in fasting month..month where we will be tested by Allah…month where Muslims needs to stop doing non sense n start thinking bout their future…n makes good deeds…well, as I cn say lar…huhu..today is da 3^rd day of fsting..n Alhamdulillah…I got all 4days full despite my illness..well, I think it all depends on mind over matters..aite??i got new person in my life…well, not 1 bt 2…but neither of them cn replace ur place in my heart…I receive a called from k.liana…yesterday morning…she sound sad..this week gonna be her last week as a practical student at SJMC..she wanted to meet me..bt unfortunately..i had finished my treatment…bt kak liana..i promise..i’ll meet u dis weekend..i’ll be there…she da one dat I cn say…give a lot of courage and spirit to me while I’ve been admitted..she’s da one dat never failed to smile even 1 seconds…dat what makes u special I think…u remind me of sumone dat b4 this really care for me…bt we cn only planned..and the decision is still his..so, redha…urm, I cn say..i hope I’ll get to reach my fasting target day…bt if anytink happened at the middle of it..i cn only redha aite??i’ve found 3 house to be rent…one in margosa height, kg jiboi baru n warisan pu3…I tried to convince papa..bt his answer r still NO!!n my sis also got da same answer like papa…may be they’re rite…if anything happen to me..i’m all alone at the house..so, it cn cause a very worst case scenario..so, I have to obey them dis time…I’m starting to do all my old habits again…for 1 whole month…n now I’m stopping again…coz it really effects me…so, pray for me..while I’m typing dis…I’m really in bad shape..since I had just been attacked by my cuzen…dumb2 u..hahahaahh…bt all I cn say…without u guys in my life…I dun tink I will still sitting rite here..typing all da words in my heart..so, thanx a lot…selamat berpuase guys…no cheating ya…ehhheehe….laterrrr….muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Where r ur humanity n mentality ha??????

Em, well..yesterday I read da newspaper…let me tell u dis 1st…in past few days…there’s lots of news dat mentioning about people throwing their CHILDREN!!!FUCK…BUSTARD….n LOSER…yes…they who threw their children r COWARD!!!every time such news come out…n I read it..deep inside me..i really wann kill da BUSTARD dat do such things to small baby like dat…I hate when children n women been do such way…I jz dun like it…back to my orignl story…yesterday KOSMO!...front page…a baby(juz left head n sum parts of da body….)been eaten by IGUANA…well…what if I put u in dat baby place…hw do u feel???huh!!!!i hate r…really hate it!!!!laterrrrrr

I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE…..

Well, kind of cliché to hear such words…well, actually, I’m gaining all da power…energy dat I really need to go through all my life…to have such great family…parents who really cares for me…I have 3 besties dat I really love…I got great cuzens….n so do..great college family…bt…(there’s always a but rite??)I dun really noe…what I wanted from my life now…I want more…bt I dunno what???cn u juz imagine dat???huh!!pathetic!!i wanted to b like phoenix…I cn always fly freely…I got da power..da beauty of sumtink…act, I’m not a beautiful gul…bt I am very thankful to Allah for creating me like dis…at least I cn c da bad side of da world…actually, world is seen as a bad side bcoz of us HUMAN!!we made the world like this…we split out da dark color to it…cn u never realized it???i hate when people kept saying dat they will love u till end of time..bt in facts..they dun…so, dun make a promise if u can fulfill it…promise dat they never leave u alone..all dat r juz a lie beneath words…huh!!i experienced it so many time..n kind of irritating with it now…so, dun make a promise if u cant fulfill it…okey…if u cn be strong now..i’m sure u cn go through all da pain after dis..believe me…I’m one of them…act, b4 I posted this blog…I’m really down…my body been hurt…I felt like I’m dying..i’m no more..no one lovers…they juz pretnding to care for me…bt in facts NO!!(not u…okey)bt then I realized sumtink..i tink I’m juz a BIG BURDEN to them..so, I stooped now…ya rite now…so dat I won’t hurt any human feelings again coz I realized dat I kept hurting others recently..although it not really my mistakes…okey…laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

Party..clubbing….laugh…n having fun…..

Well….on weekend…I had most fun in my life..hehee….actually, I should go to kelantan to visit my grandma…bt then, we changed da plan..i got a called from my cuzen..inviting me to zouk for her 21^st bday party…n guess da theme…WILD…hahahahah…then, I called few of my cuzen..asking them r they going…n I cn say all of us r there…I meant all my cuzens..hahaha…n u wanna noe what am I wearing???i went there as a really fashion disaster(thanx to ak)hehehe…

I wore a long sleeve boxes shirt…short(boxer..also boxes…) and belt…hahahaha…with my blue sandle…hahahah..really fashion disaster…I thought of wearing bikini..bt…allaalla….hahahhah…like I dare to do such things rite??ngeeeeeeee….then, there…I really had sooooooooooooooo much fun…I dance with my cuzzy(although I’m nt really gud in dancing…)I’ve been dare by them to do sumtink..(lets not mention it here)hahhaha….em, now..i had forget everytink dat happened to me past few weeks…really….n I dun give a damn shit to everytink now…ahhaaha…day b4 dat..i went to sepang n had soo much fun riding up da scrambler…although sumone did said dat cn I ride it(dun underestimate me!!!)n I got new bunch of frenz now..hahaha..to kiki,dory n drew…I had so much fun riding with u guys n be ur trainee…heheheeh…n to my paragliding instructor…mr Ahmad…thanx 4 da guide…I’ll try my best to improve my skills more….n to dr kimi…stop bully me!!!!!hahahahahahaahha…em, okey r…guy…I had soo much fun this weekend…n I hope it will continue after dis….hahahaha..laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

True friendship is like sound health…

The value of it is seldom know until it be lost….

I saw this phases as I cn say at the wall of da hospital….well, guys…like most of u noe..i been attacked by hypertensi last Wednesday….really bad…n I cried…(segan kot)..to all u…ak, fit3, emy, wan, nurul, kakak, kak ayu, kak aween, kak dudu, kak fyna, kak lyssa, amir, dauz, kak my, kak lala n those yg I x ingt sgt smalam(STML)..thanx a lot for da care ya..really love u guys…sumtimes, we never noe da true friendship until such situation happened..lucky 4 me..my hypertensi did not strike my heart…n it strikes up my abdomen…if it strikes my heart…I’m might be dead by now…to kak dudu..thanx coz make me laugh dat day…although I’m in pained..bt at least I felt da feeling to laugh…hehe…furthermore, other reason for my abdomen to be jem r one of da point for me to be dat damn F***ing pain…okey guys…dis weekend I’ll have da most fun in my life since now I often sad…for sumtink dat dun really deserve my tears…I’ll go to da motocross racing park(yehaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)…paragliding….n nt to forget…my paintball…hahahahaah…really wanna have fun…dun worry guys..i’ve took life insurance…so, if I die…I got da insurance..hehehehe….well, in b.comm class yesterday…I kept laughing with my fwens….esp kak ayu..she always makes mistakes dat make me wanna laugh…ahhahahaahahha..siyes!!!n I said dis..if tonite I die..i’ll be da most happiest person in world..hahahah…coz I had laugh with all of u…hehehehhe…guys…I juz wanted to say dis…if one day..my heart stop beating…I hope I won’t stop beating in ur heart…coz I wanna c u all smile..laugh…everyday….makes me be there always…with u guys….n I really appreciate all what u hve done 4 me..really appreciate it from da bottom of my heart….n laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..

Discrimination….y does it still exist????

I am a SMOKER…
I am a HIV positive….
I am an EX-Convict….
I am a GAY….
I am addicted to DRUG…
I am a CANCER patient….
I am a REFUGEES….
I am a KILLER….
I am a CONVERT….
I am FAT….
I am ANAROX….
I am HYPER….
I am BOYISH…..


……so what???y??......

All dis kind of statement….as I cn say…I always hear it from others….n few of it r connected to me….well…nt dat I wanted to “fire” anybody here…bt…jz wanted to asked u guys…y does discrimination still exist???Y??you should b lucky dat u r not like dat…bt y must u discriminate them??y??easy r answer…n soie too…all of u who always discriminate people…r STUPID MORON!!!!!soie to say dis..bt it is da facts….people kept questioning me….y am I one of da volunteers 4 da HIV/AIDS societies…guys…dun asked me such lame Q…easy answer…I’m nt a perfect human in dis world…n I’m nt a superhuman too…I’m juz one little hyper, boyish gul…who only noe hw to make people laugh…at least…whenever I’m with dis kids…I felt…I noe da true pained r…they dun easily give up their life…until da time arrived…people always thought dat when we r a smoker…killer…HIV positives…they r a bad person…snap2…wake up babe…they have their own reason for all dat…they said dat HIV positives r them who make sex n take drug people…hell ya…guys….cn a small kid age 6 months take drugs???having sex????hey…dun act stupid..n dun try to b stupid….sit back n tink bout it…dis kind of random cases cn b happening to one of ur family members too…including u…yup u…da one who’s reading my blog at da moment…actually…I pity u guys for nt having da sense of huminity…hurm…so sad if I’m at ur position…okey….well..i believe in KARMA…if we do sumtink to people..we’ll get it back…n guess what…if u do sumtink such like discriminating people up on da list….sooner o later….u’ll get it back…n might b worst…remember….our life r nt always on the top…make others suffer now…n u’ll get it back…latetrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

da meaning of it....

* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realizng dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside
* Superstitious and ludicrous
* Spendthrift
* Learns to show emotions

PPSMI???

Okey…dis time..i wanna share a big opinion of mine in my own blog about general issues like PPSMI..well, after da government decided to stop using English in Math and Science…to b frank..i’m quite shock..or I cn say..really shocked..okey…I’m one of da 1^st batch students dat need to go this kind of situation….maths and science in english…at first…in my mind..i thought it will be most disastrous moment for us..of coz I mean it okey….bt then…after been taught by our teachers…we passed with flying colours…well, as I cn say..our 1^st impression on sumtik will never be da truth of it okey…then, in my PMR…when we received da Q paper…I have to admit it…its quite hard…bt, need we bear in mind dat we’ve been taught before…so if we focuses…we should easily got da answers rite???after struggling for 1 week…n da result is so I cn say..make me proud to be da 1^st batch to under go all dis…although at 1^st I did questions all dist ink..huhu…um, well, I kept thinking…what is da point actually..until da moment of truth came up..da time when I undergo life as kolej student..then I noe da reasons y..well,guys…actually all dat kind of stuff dat u guys need to under go is juz a preparation for u…siyesly..no joking…n when I read Professor Ungku Aziz article in one of Malay newspaper…I’m quite shocked with his answer..coz he is one of my idol(since his English is good)..bt after read dat article for few times…I realized dat..there’s truth in what he said…bt…what cn I say…I’m juz one new kid on da block…only…children…or I cn say…kids….i’m as ur seniors in dis field..u all really lucky…so, give da best shot dat u cn…dun try to give lame answer if da percentages of ur exams going down…coz…dis time..da government had fulfill ur wish…n to those dat still wanted Math n Science to be taught in English..be patient dear..when u reach da levels of kolej n Uni…u’ll get da chance….laterrr!!!!!!

true...

As I walk down da memory lane…

I realized sumtink dat I never realize b4…

I wanna go to sumwhere dat I noe I belong to…

is not dat I dun love man…people…

bt my love towards mother nature is more…

soie if disappointed u…

make u believe sumtink dat is not exist in our world….

bt trust me….

u’ll get da answer for ur Q..n u’ll find da love dat r meant for u……

this is a dialogue from one movie dat I saw recently….is not dat I dun love man…bt my love towards mother nature is more…well, guys..have u ever tink to love da mother nature???i bet no…cause youngster r like dat rite….well, if u’re broke down rite now…if u r in sad situation….take a deep breath….then, go to sumwhere dat I cn say..mother nature will give u da peace..believe me…I’m not lying…go to fountain…lake…jungle….sea…..all dis place will make u peace n always make u smile…they will never disappointed u…well, I had make one terrible mistakes…n it makes me felt really bad…at one moment..i felt, dis will be da end for me…end of everytink…I nearly jumped from da bridge..bt, will it be da end of all dis???nope…definitely no…so, I try to move on…walk slowly…as my energy going down..n I hope…soon I’ll be okey…guys help me…n pliz..pray for me…love…..OBS!!!

Nitemare…will it came true????

Well..lately..i always had dis one nitemare….really make me scraed…now I wanna asked u guys…will my nitemare become real??????????please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!then, huh…I felt like im losing me…yes..i had lost my energy…energy to study..to talk..to b hyper..everytink…from top to toe…I try to forget u…bt I cnt…DAMN!!!!do u put ur curse on me o wat ha????stupid…yes..i am a stupid person….love sumone dat nearly kill me…kill me deep inside me…dat is da facts….i dunno y..i am so stupid 4 dat kind of situation….please…dun make me love u anymore…help me to hate u…please…I’m begging u!!!!yes u….i tink better I stop here b4 my word become more worst…….

The appreciation cum when we r not here anymore….

Well, I’m currently okey…healthier than b4….although I still vomiting…bt not dat serious…hurm..okey..about da above topic….well, it is true..plez dun try to denied it…we cn c lots of xamples in our surrounding…sudirman…P.Ramlee…Elvis Presley…n the new one…Michael Jackson…we seldom appreciate people when they r with us…we often make like they r not around us..until da stage when they have gone 4ever…we realized dat dey r everytink in our life…they who make we laugh…make we feel safe when we need a shelter..da one who always there with u when u need sumone to b with u…when u sad..they who cum to u..n make ur tears go away…dat is da facts…like now..i felt all da things..i felt diff kind of emotions…hurm…well, emy currently in sad situation…coz her sis had juz undergo operation…she lost lots of blood…emy..my pray is with u…well…I wanted to say sumtink bout his situation…I’ll felt so lucky if I’m on his sister place…where he is very concern of her sis…really concern…at least…when her sis when to the operation room…he was there…he accompanied her…till da end of da operations…5 hours waiting 4 her…with patient…me??when I went to the ot..my brother is there…he cried…which make me sad..bt when I’m out of there..he was not there…as I’ve been inform…he cant stand to c my face after da operation…hurm..then..when I undergo treatment..no body dat I hope to b there with me r with me…I am all ALONE…lucky…dat da nurse accompanied me…bt it is not same…not at all…I cried every single nite of my life lately…I had lost my “heart”…I really missed him..since he da only one dat I noe will always be with me..no matter what…bt..what cn I say…he’s not with me…I am a STML person…I forget everytink dat should do in my life…really…so, I hope at least..sumone cn remind me of dat…sumone dat b4 dis really concern of me..bt now…turn up as sumone dat I dun really noe who..i noe…new person cum..old person will be forgotten..i dun want more..jz I wanted this person cn always remind me to take my medicine….bt cn I forced it??no….so, I tried all I cn to take all my medicine..if I remembered it…bt now..i always skip it..since I dun really remember to take it….sumtimes..da nurses do call me…they remind me to take my medicine…to eat on time…well, I appreciate it akk2…urm, okey…my tears r flowing out…laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……

Shock….

Last Friday….my family received a very shocked news from my uncle…well, my grandma had an heart attack…actually, with her age like dat, nothing is impossible rite??bt what makes us all shocked is, my grandma all dis while is da most fit women in our family..she cn walk miles without feeling tired…as in da vice versa…we as her grandchild have to make more than 5 pit stopped before we cn reach da top…huhu..dat whats make us felt so shocked..i went to kolej as usual…thinking dat my grandma will make it..then suddenly, my cuzzy msj me n told me dat my grandma is in da ICU n da doc asked us to prepare 4 da worst..well…I hate da WORST word…siyesly..hate it so much!!!then, started from there…my heart kin of beating faster..n tried to laugh as usual with my buddies n sis like theres nothing worst will happened to her..n I’m so rite..she r a fighter….bt what makes me angry is she dun want to b back to sbn o klang…haisy!!!hw cn we travel from KB to sbn every week meh…adei….now, my aunts try to pujuk her lar…at least if she is in Sbn o klang…we cn visit her often..nt like now…okey…um, well, ha..my second treatment was okey…da pain is still there…bt I’m a strong gul..ehehhehe…like what my doc n kak liana told me okey…not dat I puji myself okey…um, well…I went to subang parade n sopping with them…nthen, I felt like…rndu plak nk ikot kakak I g sopping..hahahaha….its okey…I’ll need her to choose new dress 4 my school reunion…so kakak..if u read dis…preapare….ahahahahahahahh…okey..later…..

Recovering….

Well, I’m recovering now…since most of da people dat I met said dat I really looked sad…sick…arghhhh!!!!i’ve tried to cover it 1001 times u noe….hate dat!!now, people have stop saying all dat…yehaaaaaa!!really epy..since I dun want to looked sick although I am…I am a hyper gul remember!!!hurm, ha..kak liana…thanx 4 calling me everyday n remind me to take my medicine…will meet u end of dis week okey akk..hehehehe….i noe u had already miss me rite??hahahah…..prasan seh…hurm, well,me now make a research bout what I’m having…tried to be more positive on it..since I had a really massive group of them who supported me to go through all dis..n they did not left me alone here…especially to practical group of SJMC…never thought dat u guys really care for me..ahhahah..although I’m a very difficult type to b understand of..i hope u guys sabar sket ye..hahahahahhaah…..um, well,act I really miss Dr hashim..huhu..miss his smile when I’m in pain…I really miss dat smile..coz now..only da smile of da people dat I love dat give me da spirit to move on in my life…n I’m also miss my sis smile…I really miss dat…really…I cn only her smile now from her pix…or when she smile to my friends n others…although in dat way, her smile still one of da smile dat make me wanna go stronger…although da smile was not meant 4 me…n I hope I will be strong…pray 4 me…urm, okey…laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..

Y must I’ve been forces to all dis stupid situation?????

Recently, when I arrived at kolej, people who saw me, asked me dis Q, y u look so sick??so pale??i’ve tried to cover it, bt then, I failed…I lost my weight…my mood…everytink..i lost da real me…siyesly…dat what people say at 1^st…n now I had realized it…urm, I dunno what r happening to me…I realy dunno…its juz like b4…when sumone leave me without reason…i felt so sad…SAD….i juz dun have da concrete reason…if u want to hate me…go ahead..i cnt stop u am I rite???well, up to u okey…okey…I have to stop rite now…my attck r here again…laterrrrrrrrrrrrrr……

Treatment…

Last Sunday, I went 4 my 1^st treatment..well, to be frank it really pain…n lucky 4 me, my fav nurse is there with me..thanx kak liana..heheeh…um, my greatest pain is when they put in the cell killer dat I cn say like burning my whole body for more than 3 hours…I cried like hell..pain..the only word I cn describe da treatment…I’m losing my appetite to eat currently..i dun want to eat..i cant really stand da smell of food now..it makes me want to vomit…well, dat is da side effects…for past 1 week, I had lost my weight 3 kgs..just imagine I took months to gain my weight, n I losses 3 kgs for juz 1 week…Lnow, my room is like a medical lab since it contain 1001 type of medicine…if I dun take 1 out of 5 type of medicine dat cn cure me, I’ll get da side effects…damn…y does must I go through all dis!!!bt I’m so epy dat people dat I cn rely on r always there beside me..love u guys…once I’m fully recovered, I’ll treat u guys okey…muahhhhh..ehehehe….um, okey…got to go…will update more later….kak liana, thanx….kak nor n ina thanx 4 remind me to take my medicine always….to kakak n fit, thanx coz took a good care of me all dis while..to my 3 heart care, thanx a lot 4 always be there 4 me…muahhhhhhhhh….laterrrr…

General knowledge classs……

Hahahah…still remember da time when one of my fren said dis…when dat time I cant really answer easy general knowledge Q..huhu…what a shame…heheeh…okey, dis time I wanna make a statement about few issues…well, 1^st, abortion…seems like human nowdays especially women(soie 2 say dis..bt it is da facts) losses their sense of humanity…they only noe da joy part in everytink dat they do without thinking da side effect or as I cn say long term events…as I cn say lar…then, what on earth r u guys thinking until da stage dat u dare to kill ur own baby…da one who been created bcoz ur own stupidity..hell I hate & bullshit guys….dun give stupid answer to my great Q..remember!!next statement…smoking…drugs...alcoholic…hey, I am one of them..bt not in da siyes stage…did i??ahhahahaha…tetibe bengap jp…well, in dis case..it all up to u…choose what u tink best 4 u…n 4 ur future too..remember, what u do now will effect ur future..trust me…I’ve been through all dat..n I really regret it..so, wake up n move on…dun try to stop ur life now…if u say u know what does real pain mean..u r a liar..not to say dat u never been through all da pain..yup, I now..we as human will always go through pain journey…bt not dat extreme…after I’ve been diagnose, I tot dat I dun really have any life anymore…bt im so wrong..i do still hve them who care for me..i still remember kak liana said dat “adik jgn ingat adik dh xde pape dlm idup adik…sbb adik still de kaki, tgn n bley brcakap…ingt owg yg saket lg trok…”she really make me realize sumtink..i’m one stupid gul dat dun really appreciate what I have…am I rite??i noe all of u r nodding ur head now..huhu…sad…well, guys, I tink better 4 me to stop here..my tears r flowing down…lateerrrrr……

Medicine…what does it mean…

Hurm, well…I’m so tired of dis medicine words actually, until one stage I think I should be in dis medic field rather than multimedia, the course dat I’m taking rite now..huhu…I noe every medical term rite now…I noe every type of medicine dat sumone should take when they r not feeling well…so, I should be a doctor rite??hahahahaha…perasan…well, sitting alone with only my laptop and sum nurses passed by me…makes me wonder,will I stay here for a long time? 4 temporary??looking to the busy road beside the hospital lobby, seeing how hectic life dat people living in Subang Jaya have to live, I’m grateful, dat my life is not like dat..at least, like u noe,I live in Port Dickson…as I cn say..peaceful place..studying at seremban..although it is a place called town, but at least not as hectic as here… I remembered one practical nurse age 20 talking to me when she saw me sitting alone at the lobby..she came and we have a chit chat…she said dat I dun looked like I’m sick…coz I always make all of them here laugh…well, I love to c others smile…coz it really make me epy…then, I dunno y, suddenly I cn c tears cuming from her eyes when I said dat, if I only have short time to live, I want it to be as normal as always…I dun want to make it differently…so dat when I’m gone…they won’t feel it much…I did asked y…she begin a story dat also makes my tears flowed out..she said, once she have a sister…she love her sis so much coz she only have her as sis in dis world..she gave all da love dat her she should get…one day, her sis been diagnose with leukemia..only Allah noe how she felt dat time…she can’t accpt the facts dat her sis will go apart from her…bt, her sis always smile…never failed to laugh every day…although in treatment…I noe the cancer treatment is pained..my dad have gone through all dat…n might b me next…then she said, when the doc said dat she only have 6 to 10 months to live, she gave da same answer as I did..OMG!!!i juz cant believe it....i apologize to her since I didn’t mean to make she recalled all her memories with her late sis..i noe hw pained it is when we lost da person dat we care n love so much…to kak liana, be brave..Allah always be with u…thanx 4 give da care to me too…and to late Iman, may Allah bless u…and to all the staff her including da practical nurses dat always there with me…I hope I’m not a burden to u guys…and to Dr.Kimi, Kak Nor, Kak Ana..thanx 4 visiting me..make me 4get bout my probs for 1 hour..n makes me laugh like theres no more 2moro…hahahaaa….n thanx 4 da new bebear..like it…n to others..thanx 4 da prays…adiox..

Nickname….what does it mean???

Well, heyooo guys….heheheh…um, nickname…what does it mean actually??last nite, I’ve receive I msj from my bestfren..calling my other fren cowboy juz bcoz my fren love cows..hehe…actually dat nick is not dat funny thou bt the way we address people dat make me sumtimes wanna laugh…heheh…well, to b frank, like me, I have few special name for each of them dat I love n care…by calling them with as I cn say unique name, I felt really close with them…not insulting or what..bt dat is how I felt…like my 3 besties..i got a special name each of them like mok, cha, miss ira, and kakak dat as I cn say agk unique r…da name dat only me called them…hehehe…special isn’t it??theres many more nickname dat I gave to them dat I love…pnjg kot nk list an….aahhahahah…um, like me…I got sooooooo…soooooo much nickname…sha, mas, jerry, GSC, Mustard, hyperkid n soooo much more dat I can’t really remember n shy to write it here.…hehehe…well, there one name dat same pronunciation with different spelling..from kakak…scha…pronounce as sha..got it??hehehehe….small gul, adik n lots more… sumtimes people do ask me dun I get angry when they make jokes of my name…for me…not really..unless it really touches my dignity…4 me…when they called me with a unique name…they care for me..i have a place in their life…n they love me around them(hope so…)coz dat wat I felt when people dat I called with different name r..ehhehe…um, well, to all out there…dun feel offended if people called u differently…b proud…coz at least ur name r sweet coz they kept talking bout u…ahhahaah..as long as it does not hurt u okey…laterrrrrrr..

3 days break really make me feel better

Well….hey guys…been missing for 3 days..heheh…well, I’m sick…really sick…dun worry..i’m okey rite now..well, I had a small surgery…jz to remove sum things dat should not be in my body..now recovering from the surgery…well, honestly, I’m missing all my buddies in kolej…when da doc give me the mc..i felt like I wanna to sneak out from their watch n went to meet all my love in kolej…huhu..really miss u all..bt what cn I say..i’m pretty injured..so, I really need the healing time..while I’m in mc..i felt really relax..better than before…may be coz I didn’t see da out world..well, now I noe…hehehe…urm, I hope I’ll be fine 2morrow…cz I really wanted to meet all my hearts in kolej..really missed them…um, I’ll stop rite here..laterr……

Love..cry…laugh….

:P

New sem…new life..new me…

Urm, well…it’s been a while since my last blog…well, guys..not dat I’m too bz…bt theres sumtink dat really need my attention 150%..so, now…I’m bit free…my new sem has begin..sumtink dat I can say damn short of time…I took 3 subjects 4 2 months…WTH!!well, I need to okey…so, redha… dis sem, I celebrated my sis birthday..dat is kakak…on da 12^th of June..4 da 1^st time I make a complot with her ma..luckily her mom is cool man..hehehe..i have to cheat her 4 da 1^st time juz to make a surprised 4 her..soie kakak….x wat lg dh..heheheh..i hope she’s happy with our small surprised…um, being apart from sumone is hard rite??bt dat is da facts..accpt it as what it is…okey..laterrr…

p/s: aku junjung petua mu…cintai dia yg mencintaiku….

Love da person dat love u…muahhhhhh

save me from myself

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting with 
Your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
From myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Well some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm crying
'Cause when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself
From myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
A better woman to myself
To myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

We cant never forces………

            Well…I’m back!!heheheh…soie quite sumtimes didn’t rite anytink in dis blog…em, my final exams is damn unpredictable…hard n as I cn say…SUCKS!!since our target question did not appear at all..huargh!!!!well, my life so like dat…although human r easy to b predictable..bt not da situation okey…I’m not as strong as b4…I’ve lost him…n going to lose another one…usually when dis words came out from my mouth, I’ll be very epy…bt not dis time…LOVE…I might not noe what does true love means, since I never allowed it happened although juz for once…for me love is pain…no matter in wut way…really pain…love to me is universal…love to lovers…to family…sister’s….brother’s…friends….life….living things n to mother nature…dis is what love means to me…bt we can’t never forced people to do da same to us am I rite???kill me if u want to…bt I’m not going to change my love meaning…I luv bears…I have more than 30 bears…love it so much!!!!especially when I get it from people…da biggest 1 I get it as presents from sumone…luv it so much…it always accompany me…while I sleep…n study…each and every of my bears got their own name…Guinevere is da biggest one…ming2 is from my sis…alex is from my besties….and others dat I cant really remember from who…wanna noe their name?? Angelo, donatello, Raphael, Leonardo, Michael, Sammy, Angie…others r according o their own characters like tweety, Sylvester and etc…I wanted to buy wonderpets bears…anybody noe any shop dat sell dis three characters???let me noe k…hehehheeh…em, well, since I’ve sick of giving without receiving…now, I started to believe wut I used to believe…love my self..n dem who need my love…if theres any r an…huhu…well, guys..later I’ll update more…since my jet audio..from jz now kept playg all da sad songs…wanna cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!huarghhhhh….later….

 

  

ikhlas...

saat dunia berhenti berputar
saat manusia tak sanggup lagi berharap
ketika mentari tak sanggup lagi berjanji
menyinari dunia yang tlah kau singahi

mapukah kau untuk berbagi
tanpa hasrat ingin diberi
dihadapanNya
dihadapanNya ya Allah

sesungguhnya manusia tak kan bisa
menikmati surga
tanpa ikhlas di hatinya
sesungguhnya manusia tak kan bisa
menyentuh nikmatNya
tanpa tulus dihatinya

Happy mother’s day…

            Well, on the 10^th of  May..me n ma famly celebrated 2 occasions…first is my niece b’day…dat is Nina…then, mother’s day…we have a small party..not actually a party as I cn say..only dat mama invited all her siblings for that occasions…so I called it as a  party…hahahah…well, last Friday, bg cik had an xcident..kind of horror, since kak ayu badly injured..pity her so much…I dun have any mercy towards my bro…coz I pity kak ayu so much…since she’s badly injured in dat xcident…well, kak ayu cn eat now…although juz nestum..bt at least she can eat..her mak teh told bg cik dat kak ayu might be at da hospital 4 3 to 6 months…I’ll visit her as often as as I cn…ma bro is at home already..if only I cn break his other hand for doing such stupid action to me…huh!!em, abg is not back dis week…kind of sad with dis situation…act I wanted to talk to sumbody coz I can’t really take all dis anymore..bt seems like everyone is avoiding me lately…so, let me keep it as my secret…although its quite hard 4 me to do dat…bt I dun wanna to burden them anymore…yesterday, I got my attack again…may b coz I’ve stop taking dat stupid medicine…I wanted to live normal…without any medicine…those who read my blogs today…dun u worry, I’m okey…coz if I’m not okey, I won’t be typing dis blog..coz I’ll might end up at the mourn house…huhu..i’m okey ya guys…muahhhhhhh…to kakak, soie coz think like dat yesterday…really depressed…huhu…bt not with u…with others…hurm, next 2 weeks will be my final exms…so might not updating my blogs more until my final finished…okey….laterrrrrr…..

I am me…so what???

Last Monday..i’m in true depressing situation…after gaining again my strength, I’m back to me today…I had enough to be in such sad situation juz bcoz people dun wanna to b friends with me anymore..hey, dude…I now u’re reading my blog…so, I dun care anymore!!!!!i can live on my own…I cn live as who I want to b…I cn do anytink dat I wanted to do…I dun need any of ur guard to make me save anymore…I noe hw to handle them on my own…so, plizz..stop!!sumtimes I wonder, y did I ever make involve my self into dis kind of situation..i had juz enough..i’ll be back to me..the true me…da old me…coz while I’m in dat life, my liofe as not as miserable as today..thanx to u dude for doing dat rite???well, although I might be back to da old me..i’ll not do anytink dat I promised sumone dat I’ll stop from doing it..i’ll tried all I can…as long as I still have the guts, I’ll continue denying what I wanted to…okey..later guys…

Happiness sold separately…

            Hurm, what a title rite..hahah…well, while I’m typing dis..actually, I’m little bit sad..but I’m okey I think…hurm, do u ever think to have another life??in other words, imagining dat our life like birds..bears..or even other people life??of coz yes rite..well, yesterday morning, while having my bekfes..my mother opened our house back door..behind my house, there’s 4 kitten with cute and adorable faces..hehe…I watched this cute creature playing around their mother..biting their mother tail..climb up their mother head and playing with each other…what a cute creature..suddenly..sumtink came up to my mind..if ever I can live as happy as dis young kitten..not to say dat my life is not happy…I’m a very epy person…but from da problem side..this kitten seems to b epy with their life..without the need of thinking such lame problems..thinking what others said bout u..or others stupid Q…huh!!!cn u just imagine life as free as dat??if I got da chance to have dat kind of life..only for one day…I’ll live dat life as proper as I can..n I’ll be the happiest person in da world..i bet u…bt what can we do..happiness do sold separately..later…..

 

 

the reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Journey will never end…

 

            As u may notice..dis is my blog page title…been as blogger for 6 months..equal to da time I stooped taking all stupid stuff…I’m da new me today..thanx a lot to the person dat change me 100% since da day we met..can't really imagine dis kind of  situation will happened to me…well guys..actually, now I’m really in big dilemma..i took dis one medicine..to stop me from sumtink..as I cn say..its a medicine to cure me..of coz r an…cheh…well, dis medicine gave me side effect..really bad side effects..n it really turn my hyper energy upside down..huhu..i’ve tried to stop taking da medicine..for 1 day…bt it will only make my addiction back…well…kind of FUCK r an!!!i’m very irritated with my own life at da moment…huh!!!well, guys…I’ll stop here…later I’ll update sumore..laterrrr….

Epilogue for my hearts

 

            Dis time I wanna share with u guys, what they mean to me..

 

Kak Anis…

The only senior dat really understand me lots..

Not only senior…

She is my sister…

She who I care a lot…

She turn me to sumbody I never expect I will be…

I’m da new me today…

She stopped me from doing non sense and really take a good care of me…

 

Ak….

My babe from 1^st sem…

Stylo…and cute..haha…

Brilliant ideas in editing..

Slow poke…bt always there when u need sumtink…

 

Fit3..

My brother..

Might be a little bit diva..

But always be there for u..

Love to protests me and kakak…huhu..

Mystery guy with 1001 personalities…

 

Wan..

My 1^st husband…

Haahah…

Tough and did not scared of anytink…

Sumtink dat u didn’t noe bout him..

I noe..

Caring and will be there always…

 

Emy…

Sumtink we have in common…

Football..

Heheheh..

Man u is da best..

Always have a cat mouse figyt with me..

So lame…

Hahahahah

 

Nasir..

Broother to me..

Got it how to pronounce it?

Ahahahahah…

Love to bully others..

Straight forward person…

Caring.

Protective as I cn say…

 

Boy…

My scandal..

Cute..charming…

Mangse bully…

Caring and sweet..

 

Adi..

Another scandal of me..

Straight forward person…

Tough and protective..

Easygoing..

Open minded..

 

Ekin..

My 3^rd scandals..

Hahahha..

Sweetheart to Nasir…

Chubby as I can say…

Outspoken..

Brave..

And caring..

Always there when u need her…

 

Dauz…

Korean boy with Korean style of coz…

Skinny or I love to say…cikeding…hahahah

Caring..

Can be rely on..

 

No matter what happen to me…u all will be here rite inside my heart..always…tc..love u guys all…muahhhhhhhhhhhxxxxx..xoxo

 

 

jai ho...

(Jai Ho)
(Jai Ho)I got (I got) shivers (shivers),
When you touch my face,
I'll make you hot,
Get all you got,
I'll make you wanna say (Jai Ho)

(Jai Ho)

I got (I got) fever (fever),
Running like a fire,
For you I will go all the way,
I wanna take you higher (Jai Ho)
I keep it steady
Cuz steady is how I feel it.
This beat is heavy, so heavy,
You gon feel it.

(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,(Jai Ho)
You are my destiny,
Jai Ho! Uh-uh-uh-oh!
(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us(Jai Ho)
Nothing can ever come between us,(Jai Ho)
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh)

Catch me, catch me, catch me, common catch me,
I want you now,
I know you can save me, come and save me,
I need you now.
I am yours forever, yes, forever,
I will follow,
Anywhere in anyway,
Never gonna let go.

Jai Ho

(Jai Ho) Escape (escape) away (away),
I'll take you to a place,
This fantasy of you and me,
I'll never lose the chase. (Jai Ho)

Yeaahhhh (Jai Ho) Yeaahhhh

I can (I can) feel you (feel you),
Rushing through my veins,
There's an notion in my heart,
I will never be the same.

(Jai Ho)Just keep it burnin', yeah baby,
Just keep it comin', (Jai Ho)
You're gonna find out, baby,
I'm one in a million.

(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,(Jai Ho)
You are my destiny,
Jai Oh! Uh-uh-uh-oh!

(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us(Jai Ho)
Nothing can ever come between us(Jai Ho)
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh) (You and me, it's destiny)

Catch me, catch me, catch me, common catch me,
I want you now,
I know you can save me, come and save me,
I need you now.
I am yours forever, yes, forever,
I will follow,
Anywhere in anyway,
Never gonna let go.

Jai Ho (Yeeeaaahh), Jai Ho (Yeeeaaahh), Jai Ho

I need you,
Gonna make it,(Jai Ho)
I'm ready,
So take it!

(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,(Jai Ho)
You are my destiny,
Jai Oh! Uh-uh-uh-oh!

(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us,(Jai Ho)
Nothing can ever come between us,(Jai Ho)
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh) (You and me, it's destiny)

Jai Ho!

Bai la-bai la!
Bai la-bai la!

Jai Ho!

Bai la-bai la!

Jai Ho!

- songs for u those who read my blogs....especially them who i love....muahhhhhh...-

we will only appriciate sumone after they gone

its been a while since my last blog..hurm, kind of messy with my life...with presentation & bla...bla...bla...my prangai dtg blik...dat S thing..well...i still need to stop from doing it rite??um, kind of tired r..well, back to my topics..we as human, always make mistake..am i rite??correct me if i'm wrong..em, i have lots of people dat i love and care...me papa n mama...famly...cuzens...besties..best buddy...me kakak..n me brother...dat is fitri n kak anis...heehhe...well, although sumtimes they might irritated with my attitude or they might hate me...but i love and care for themm...cyg sgt2...i need energy...um, well...no matter how, what, when, where, why...i love them...easy as dat...so, guys...appriciate them who u care & love...dont repeate da same mistakes...muahhhhh....

why????

sumtimes we expect sumtink to go as we plan, bt in da middle of it, it will make us sad...huhu...pain...like wanna die...y must there's sumtink in da middle of sumtink???do get what i'm trying to say???hope so...huhu...kind of pening ow...sokey...juz...to those yg read my blog....epy!!!!!!heheheheh

BO!!!!!!

em, well...actually, i'm in business mood...ahhaahahaa...although my 1st hubby, dat is marwan who did all the RP..bt to b frank, we feel like wanna R.I.P..hahahahahahcrazy men..i'm a multimedia student, bt i need to do business planning???erk!!!wanna die meyh...ahahahah..bt thanx to my cyg, our work have done...ahahhah..laterrrrrrrrrrrr

beach...not bitch!!!

i'm at the beach currently...missed pd beach so much!!!da last time i went to da beach is last 2 months...kakak, xmo mara..i juz want to feel da beach breez...not wantg anytink...hurm, i'm missing all my cuzens...we'll meet next month...okey..later i'll update more..

jgn tego..

ahahahaah

Dan sebenarnya...

\

Ku enggan berpura-pura ku bhagia…

Ku enggan melihat kau brsama si dia…

Ku akui cemburu mula menular dlm dri…

Pabila kau bersama yang lain….

 

            Dis song is by one great gifted kid, Yuna…I started to like her songs after been introduce by sumone to me…thanx to u babe…um, let say…I hve 1001 Q in my mind…I have a lover..bt does he mine??i hve a so called siblings…do they really care and love me??i hve lots of buddies, will they always be there with me??i hve enemies…will they be my enemies for ever??I hve person dat I cre…will my care for them last long???all da Q, I dun really have a very sure answer…bt I hope, it will last like I dream it…bt I cn say, I’ve family dat I noe really care for me till da end of my life…although they might scolded me, o what ever…bt they’ll always be with me forever…sumtimes I wonder, why did I feel like dis!!damn s**t!!i hate it…sumtimes I should throw away all my bad side and move on with my new life…bt to b frank…I really missed my old life..although I like my new life…since I’ve change a lot…and most of people in my life like it…heheh..thanx to kakak as I cn say…dis is what happened when I’m to pampered rite???um, I never blame da person dat too pampered me..may be they care for me…MAYBE…I dun really noe da truth…huhu…life is unpredictable…really unpredictable..i dun really noe what to predict sumtimes..i tot da problem wit all da bitches have done…and all hve cumclean..bt suddenly, again and again..few Q came out slowly again…I hate to answer da Q dat I dun really noe what to answer anymore since I’ve cleared it all…hate!!!!semak!!!!bt its okey r..i dun wanna people to b suspicious wit me…okey!!!so, any Q, asked me now…okey.. Jokey..later I’ll update more….freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

 

 

Jangan tanyakan padaku 
Tentang semua hidupku 
Ku bertanya padamu 
Mungkinkah kau biarkan diriku 
Terserah mauku tinggalkan diriku 
Ku minta kau diam 

Tak ingin siapa pun tahu 
Tentang semua masa laluku ini 
Shut up !!Yeah ... 

Inilah diriku, ini duniaku ... 
Janganlah kau ganggu aku 
Why don't you shut the fuck up !!

im sorryyyyyyyy

lately, i'm kind of not in da mood...y???dun ask me dat question here...um, well, since 'm not in da mood...until now as i cn say....i dun really have da mood to talk to anybody..including my famly...even when one of my closes fren called me i didn't pick up...urm,dunno y always in dis situation...hate it!!!!em, i always ignore them who wanna to talk we me lately...to all of u...soie...i'll tebus my slah later...pomise!!i dunno y...my mind is not wit ma soul...it ran away from me now....n i'm trying all out to find it back and to be me...the real me dat is 2 years ago...well, guys...i'm really soie...i juz can't explain it now....

laterrrr.....

halamak!!!!

weyh...okey r...since heboh sgt nk kco kakak aku an...let me tell u all cosmo student!!!i tink around 80 cosmo student yg visit dis page...in order to make all of u pham...bhase rojak ye dis time....well, de r manusia2 neyh..ble depan2 lalu..diam je...ble dh jauhbru nk mekak2...sumtimes i just can't understand dis kind of motherfuc**r in dis world...bak kte akk i, kcik2 xmo mampos!!!!hadoai...xpe..since dis is my blo...i have da rite to say anytink..am i rite???hurmm..ha, okey let me tell u guys bout one of themm..wanna noe...they had lost their virginity!!!hahahahahah....prempuan sundal!!!dh r kne pnyakit...hahahahah...kowng bebaik weyh if dowang nk kongsi mknan ke mnuman...kang tranfer lak pnykit dowang uh...to b frank, i rather sat with kids with AIDS rather than them the bitches!!!!!hahahahah...at least da kids r innocent...WTF!!!sengal r kowang neyh....konon gmpak sgt r...pdahal x pon..nk kte lawa...x...nk kte hot...x gak....nk kte fashionista...urm...haram!!!xde nye...nk kte pndai...lg r..jauh panggang dr api....dh r weyh...owng dh kco ko...semak2 nk kco owang wt pe...taw r geng2 ko x hot dh sbb ktowang2 yg hot neyh xde...kelembapan mlanda r kowang neyh...semak...hisy!!!dh weyh...blah...to those yg taw hal neyh....jge2 r dri kowang...kang kne penyakit lak kang...gtal2 i bdn kang...hahhhahhhahahha...later....

hurmmmm.....

Currently, I’m listening to a song title smpai menutup mata…by Acha..an Indonesian singer…from juz now, I cn say all da songs from my MP3 player list kept playing all da sad songs…hurmmmm…sadL…well, I’m recovering my self rite now…thanx to Yana n Dek..2 person dat helps me a lot along dis painfull moment…urm, well, guys, anyone hve an answer for my prob??i had this gum bleed recently…anyone noe how to cure it??please do comment my blog ya…n leave ur very good advise(I hope)one of my frenz said it is gingivitis problem..huhu…scared!!!bt if it is fate 4 me..then, redha je…if my father can go through da pain of cancer…y can’t I rite??lately, my chest always block until da stage I had to increase my painkiller dosage..kind of scared if the medicine will give nme one horrified side effects..bt,I juz can’t stand the pain…I easily exhausted, tired, sleepy and feel like wanna collapse…juz worried if one day I collapse in the middle of da road than BANG!!been hit by car..Ya Allah…um, okey r..i’ll update later…later!!!

coba by faizal tahir....

Cuba kau dengar
Cuba kau cuba
Diam bila ku cuba
Tuk berbicara dengan kamu

Pernahkah kau ada
Bila ku perlu
Tuk meluahkan rasa hati

Dan bila kau bersuara
Setia ku mendengar
Agar tenang kau merasa

Siapa
Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu

Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
Itulah aku…padamu

Cuba kau lihat
Cuba kau cuba
Renung ke mata aku
Bila ku kaku melihatmu

Pernahkah kau ada
Bila ku perlu
Tuk menyatakan rasa sakit
Dalam diri

Dan bila kau perlu
Setia ku menunggu
Agar senang kau merasa

Siapa
Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
Itulah aku…padamu

Maafkan kerana aku tak pernah
Terlintas tuk menulis pada mu
Salahkan ku
Tak mungkin lagi aku meminta
Untuk kau mendengar..
Untuk kau melihat ke mataku

Siapa
Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
itulah aku…padamu

dis song really make me realised sumtink in my life....sumtimes i always take 4 granted evrytink in my life...until sum point...i feel like i wanna kill my self...bt will it end all my suffer?no...so, move on wit ur life...n be stronger than u ever noe u can b....

:)

Day out with my sis and future “brother in law

           Yesterday, I went to watch movee…fast and furious…watch it with my sis, nasir, amir, dauz and aiman..kind of fun okey dis movee…I love the part when Dom(diesel) punch O’Conner…huh!!well, can’t be separated with my life…whors…really like dat scene…heheheh...and I really admire Dominic body figure…macho seh!!!then, went to toilet since the cinema is damn cold…huhu…after dat, when to Mcd to hve our lunch there…and u noe what, suddenly I can’t breath…damn!! I didn’t bring my painkiller…WTF!!! Luckily didn’t die there..huhuLthen, they wanna hang out at the side of terminal, since I can’t stand anymore to smell smoke frm ciggarates, I walked away to college…I tot I can stand the pain,  n I’m really wrong dis time..the pain is damn horrable…I juz can’t stand it…every time I sat down to rest, I felt like wanna to collapse…so, I juz keep on walking until, my body losses all da strength and I did stop for I tink less than 2 minutes..i get up and walked again..kind of pity to my sis, amir n dauz..they have to follow me…soie guys….i won’t do dat anymore…hurm, well, actually I’m in a sad situation now…I dunno y, bt I’m really depressed now…not in da mood to do anytink…even do my assignments…k guys…later I’ll update summore….laterrrr…. 

Bout them!!

            Bout 2 person dat I care so much…bout Miss A and Mr D..heheh…u might noe who rite??lalalalala…well, actually, me n fit3 had a long and as I can say damn big plan 4 both of them..heheheheh….here comes my devil attitude…hoho…um, if u c both of them together, I bet u’ll like it…kind of cute when they got together…unfortunately, they r too shy…hisy!!they have the same interest that is Power Puff Girl…and they care for each other as I can see lar…hehehe…one of my buddy dat is Amir, did asked me yesterday…soon, u’ll write sumtink bout them in ur blog rite??i did say yes…ahahahah…now is the rite time…keh3~xmo mara ye…well, I like if both of them couple…not only me, but all of our frenz dat noe bout it…bt wat cn I say,their choices…huhu…even I did ugut Mr D..i said if he ever find another gul, I’ll kill him…hahahahahahah…sengal x sengal an….joking okey..and to miss A, I said like dis, if u get married with other guy than Mr D, I’ll bring all of our frenz and we will object ur marriage…hahahahah….sgt begau!!hurm, okey r, b4 they got angry with me, better I stopped all dis rite here…kind of scared with Miss A…ahahhhaha…ampun!!!!!later…

adoi ai.....

dis time...blog neyh dlm bm...coz kowang2 yg bitch2 neyh...x phm bhase ingris an...bangang r kte an....hahahahha...um, since kowang neyh semak2 nk taw sal ktowang yg hot and vogue neyh,....aku nk ckp sket r....psl kowang2 an...um, aku taw stiap inci hdup kowang...knn2 ko taw sgt sal aku an...mcm s**l...hahahahha...bodoh!!!aku taw cm ne kowang hlang dra....aku taw cm ne ko tdo ngan dak kolej....so,jgn smpai hal neyh trsebar...mang de yg kowang bnuh dri...and aku plak ksh kalo kowang mati.......hahahahahahha...bangang....bongok!!!!em, mls plak nk cte bebnyak sal kowang neyh...seng cte kowng neyh coward....pengecut thap cipan!!!bile rmai2 bjet r mekak2....bile sowang2 taw plak ko nk diam...WTF!!!busted!!!!pengecut!!!!!huh!!!!!!!dh r...wat semk je...tggu je r mse nnti...akn reveale sume....lalalalllalal

A walk to remember….

            Dis title may b familiar with sum of u..let me tell u, dis is a novel title dat be turn in to a film…if u never seen it, try to find it in da market…huhu…one nice and touching story…siyes!!i cried like hell when I saw dis story..about a girl dat been diagnose with cancer..da guy stick with her till da end of her life…he  tried all he can to make da gul epy…hurm, sumtimes i wonder, is there anybody out there in real life, willing to do such tink, no matter to their loves one or sumone dat they care…sumtimes I wonder, can I do dat?bt as I can say, we can only plan our life bt we cn never predict what will happen in da future…like me, I love to make people laugh and smile whenever they ‘re wit me..i love to c their shining and glowing face…coz it will make me feel epy no matter if in dat time…I’m in pain…bt sumtimes, I make mistakes..human r like dat…full of unpredictable life…people cn say dat they really care for us and will b with us no matter what happen…bt, we can never trust dat promise 100%...i’ve been through all dis 1000 of times…sumtimes I wonder, dun I really learn sumtink from all dis…bt what cn I say, I’m one normal kid but with xtra ordinary energy(hyper active what else lah…)haahahaahhaha….i’ve lost many people dat promise me like that, and I,m bear dat I might lost another one….sumtimes I wonder, y does my life like dis??full of sad story..not many people noe…or I can say none..coz I dun really told them da real story..only dat…whenever it happened…it hurts me badly…I’m da type of person dat love to make others satisfied…never say no to what their wish r…and always obey what they want…and sumtimes I can say…kind of lurus bendul kot…datz y people always take advantage on me…hurmmmmmmmmmm….sad..bt what cn I say..dat is how my life r…although people dun really like to listen to what I’m saying…bt,I still love them…I dunno y…kind of sad…I lost one of my best buddy…and might lost another one dat I really care like my own siblings…I dunno what will I do if lost dis one great person…might be sumtink dat I never xpect I could do…let me end my blog rite here…coz I noe…I might slip one word or one person name dat is related to dis blog…later I’ll update sumtink dat I llearn while I’m in gombak…adiox!!

quotes

"I am not young enough to know everything."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."
- Lucille S. Harper
"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."
- Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.)
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Well, dis 4 quotes had make me stronger and have more vision in my life…let me tell u each & every quotes mean…da 1st one..all dis while, people always underestimate me..i might be small in size & younger than them…bt theres one tink they should noe..i’m not as stupid as they r…every step of my life, I’ve planned it earlier..so dat I won’t make the same mistakes dat I’ve done previously…so, I noe everytink dat u guys dunno…every inch of my life, I’ve learned tons of tink..from da negatives to da positive things…so, don’t try to act like u guys r too great ya…(trase nsib r)..ahhahahahahahah..da 2nd one, my ego..ya, I have da greatest ego dat u ever known…let say, I inherit it from one of my fmly members…hurm, kind of one of my bad attitude bt I like it…with dis kind of ego, I will not easily give up to wut others say…I might b silence when they said anytink dat is not true bout me, bt once I open my mouth..juz prepare for sumtink dat I cn say most disaster moment u’ll face..um, juz people always underestimate me…I just don’t care…ahhahahahaahahah…hurm, da 3rd quote…well, to b frank…ya, my words always hurts people dat I love & care…always…bt I learn to not do it always…I tink it works..at least…huhuhu…bt once I silence dat doesn’t mean I’m a coward o wat..i’m juz waiting for da rite time to burst all my silence…bt not all like it when I’m too silence…hehhehehe..they said it will be weird…hohohhohoh…I wanted to tried to b silence for 1 day…bt failed it…ehhehehe…hurm, last bt not least…da last quote…kind of like it….we often c our enemy mistakes when we hated them so much…by doing dat, they will think dat we’re too busybody o like we’re dying without friend like dem…well, not at all okey…macm aku kesah…ahahhahahahahah…kn kak anis?hehhehehesje je…jd giler jp…keh3~so, to those dat hve enemy…juz b silence when ur enemy make mistakes…coz by doing dat way…people will noe who is wrong ?& who is in da rite side..so, juz forget bout them…um, well, if my enemies read dis blog(since u all send a stupid spy to spy us) bodo r kowang neyh…spy kowang uh pon sme je bodonye…hahahhahahahahhahahah….nk taw psl ktowang…tp x pndai….tetibe x pnah2 sbt nme kowang…tnye lak aku npe x kluar ngan kowang…hak alahai…x pro btulll…bangang…..hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah…dh r…cte kt kowang pon bkn kowang pham…kn bangang…..kah3~…..later……

People r easy to b predict!!!

While I’m typing this blog, I’m listening to ne of my fav song…dat is CUBA by Faizal Tahir…if u dunno the song, try to listen to the lyrics carefully..and u will noe what da writer really want u to understand…back to my story..people r easy to b predict…especially women..soie to all women out there..i’m a girl to…but dis time I’ve to xpressed my opinion…from young, I love to makes friend wit guys rather than with guls..juz an easy answer, cuz guys will not take every of words cum from our mouth seriously…I have boyfriend more than gulfriend…until recently, I’ve opened my heart to make friends with guls than boys…cuz I think, college gul will not have a mind like skull gul..and I’ve made the biggest mistakes in my life…they r the same..tried to say dat they r a grown up gul..& etc…they said they dun like to have cat mouse fight o wut ever they said…my opinion to u guys…u guys like a small gul..i might be younger than u guys..but my mind r not as shallow as their mind…I noe which one is gud for me..and I noe…which one is bad for me…when certain people said they really noe me…although I had juz noe them or…let say….less than 2 months…and they dare to say they noe me????WTF!!!dun they have a life??opssss…forgot…they r bitch…bitch dun have a life…datz y they wanna to ruin other people life….urghhhh…easy to b predict…but there sumtink dat I learn from dat…no matter how close u to sumbody…o how much u trust them…I juz can say…beware of ur back…cuz while I’m with them, they kept talking bout each other u noe…talking bad bout each other…cn u juz imagine hw the situation r???horrified!!!hahahahaha…ya, when I’m with dis person, she’ll say bad bout this person..same goes to others…but now, u tried to protect the person??tried to say dat…dis is membe aku la…kwn bek la…WTF la weyh…tlong r…ko sndri tikm owng yg ko knn2 nk protect uh…(purposely I type it in malay…cuz they dun really noe how to read in english)hahahah…lame…in my world..they said dis kind of peson r plastics…u guys noe it rite??u guys cn see it…my foster mom did said this to me..let them with their life..they might say bad bout u dat we nor dat is not true..bt by doing dat, their secret will be revealed slowly…and it is true..i noe lots of their secret now…and I’m waiting to reveal it to others..since I’ve lots of strong evidence…from voice recording to files2…juz wait & c ya bitch..opsss…new name…strippers….hahahahahhahahaha…I juz cant wait for the time…dat time, u’ll noe dat Allah always fair…and what goes around cum around…alallalalalallalalala…leter I’ll update sumtink more interesting ya….later……

my heart......

while i'm typing dis...in dilemma kot....dunno y...but really down at dis moment....hurm, juz wanna share wit u guys my heart pix...c ya....hurm....to those dat wanna hurt them...reminder...

OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!!!!!! REMEMBER!!!!!!!

just blurb...wanna make my life easier....

hey...um...muy life is getting stronger and brighter...might not be so cmplete...bt as i cn conclude..okey r...rather than nothing an....when people say sumtink dat is not rite bout me...i'm okey with it...

x kesah pon...

coz i noe the true me...

lalalalallalalalalalalaallallalalalalallalalalalal.....

while i'm typing this, Dauz is in front of me...making his sad face after i treath him....hahahahhahah

dauz2.....later i'll update okey....

Every mark on my body represent every wrongdoing dat I’ve done...

           Let say, I’m dat type of person dat always hurt others and makes tones of mistakes in my life…I hate to apologizes especially when I did not do the mistakes…I can say, at my age of 19, I have lots of marks on my body…each of it represent each of my mistakes…I juz luv to hurt my self…since now I’ve stop fighting with others…dun ask me which one represent my biggest mistakes that I’ve done is my life, coz I dun really have the answer…coz I can’t really remember which one…siyes!!! recently, I’ve made at least 4 marks on my body since I’ve makes my sis suffer a lot…soie kak Anis…mean it from the bottom of my heart!!!to be frank, she dunno at all about this, and I’m hoping dat she won’t read this blog…huhuhu…kind of scared if she noe bout it…she’ll naik angin ma….no..no..no....hurm, I never felt the pain when I make the marks on my body…may b coz dat time I’m under preassure..i dunno…hehehehheeh….but dat is how I expressed my guiltiness…I noe in islam, it is wrong for hurting ur own body, I the other way, I can say I’m torturing myself..but I juz dunno how to do it in other ways…I think enough on dis topics…or I’ll say much bout myself…..ahahahhaahha…later…muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…adiox!! 

Confession of A Broken Heart!!!

 

To read is to know. Read the story below and get to know the author who wrote it although isn’t really my story, but I had to share it with you. Just before I close my eyes last night, I read a very touching story and gave a lesson. This story touches me and I hope it touches you, reaches out to you and perhaps even makes a difference in your life. This a true story.

 

A story fought is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having a battle in Vietnam. He used his cell phone to call his parents in England. ‘Mom and Dad, I’m coming home, but I’ve got a favour to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring with me”

 

“ Sure,” they replied, “ We’d love to meet him”

 

“ There’s something you should know” the son continue. “ He was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mine and lost a leg and a hand. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come and live with us”.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live.” Mother said.

 

“No, Mom. I want him to live with us.”

 

“Son,” said the father, “you don’t know what you’re asking. Someone such handicap would be terrible burden for us. We have our own life to live and we can’t let something like this interfere our life. I think you should just come back and forget about this guy. He’ll find a way live on his own” at the moment, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him.

 

A few days later, the parents of the soldier received a call from the police and they were told that their son had died after falling down from a building. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to the capital city of England to identify the body of their son. They recognize him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn’t know. Their son had only one arm and one leg.

 

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good looking or fun to have around but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We could rather stay away from people who aren’t as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully. There’s someone who won’t treat us that way. Someone who loves us with unconditional love and welcomes us into the forever family.

 

Regardless of how messed up we are. After reading this, make a little prayer that Allah will give you the strength that you need to accept people and be more understanding of everyone especially the person you don’t like!!!!

 

Friends make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, share your tears, give a word of praise and open their hearts to you. If you want to show how much you care for them, take this and give it to him/her and say “Read”

should he been catogorize with human??

Should he been categories as human??

Yesterday, while waiting for the rain to stop, as usual, I with others will hang out all together and have a great damn laugh for a stupid continuously joke. My big bro, my uncle n my others bff are sitting down while they having a chat that I didn’t noe what is their topic since I’m having my conversation with my sis, suddenly my brother been pushed to the glass door in high velocity by some stupid coward that I should call it rather than him coz I know it don’t deserve a human title for itself. And what makes me go wild more is, my sis also been hit by the door. Bangkai b**I btul! Well, n u noe for what reason he did that? For some stupid, fu****g reason. Dat is, the motorbike that my friend mention about is it so called future father in law properties. U noe what does asshole mean? Isf u noe, gud, don’t know? Refer to dictionary ya. I hate people that..opss, forget, it is not human, so why should I mention it as people rite?ok back to the point, it is not human because it make my bro dignity n life like a toy n with a proud fu****g shit face it said that he do that just now becoz of bullshit motor. Plis la. don’t try to act like u r so called yakuza in this world. U r not. Suddenly just no, I’m thinking of saying sumting bad will happened to it. let say, accident with big lorries and been crushed out into pieces by that brilliant lorry for that moment. Ah, I will felt so happy that moment. Yeeehaaaaaa….urm ok, later I’ll update sumoore